How did the members view themselves?
Like many people who know about this subculture, it is very secretive and people from the outside do not know much about what they did during meeetings and how they really felt about it. The only resources we have of understanding this is through the few survivors that are still living and through "exit" videos of the members who committed suicide.Before each member ended their lives, they made a video on why they had made the decision to end their lives and how they felt about everything. I was lucky enough to find a few of these videos through the internet. (Shown below)